martedì 8 dicembre 2009

Bisogna pure lavorare

Stamattina sono stato svegliato da un forte odore di parmigiana di melanzane, era quasi palpabile, una specie di nebbiolina che avvolgeva tutto di una sottile patina di unto, pensavo fosse un sogno perché era l’odore della parmigiana che fanno alla “Trattoria da Calandra”, con quel tipico profumo di prosciutto e di melanzane panate ma lo ha sentito anche il mio vicino di letto, il cardiopatico, ha tirato una lunga annusata ed ha detto “però!”, adesso è in rianimazione, dicono che il colesterolo gli è salito a duemila. Mi sono fatto portare il portatile in ospedale, qui in cardiologia, non si potrebbe ma quando l’infermiera ha fatto le sue rimostranze le ho fatto lo sguardo del Freddo, che io ce l’ho proprio uguale uguale al suo, lo sguardo, e lei non ha detto più niente. Sì è messa in tasca le mie settantacinque euro ed è uscita. Erano le ultime che avevo, mi dovevano servire per oscurare i vetri dell’ape ma tanto ormai non sarebbero bastate nemmeno per le nuove maniglie degli sportelli, ci tengo alla mia ape, le maniglie le voglio cromate così mi specchio prima di entrarci e controllo se sono a posto, se le femmine si girassero mi devono trovare a posto. Sto divagando, mi capita spesso; dicevo che ho dato tutto quello che avevo in tasca all’infermiera ma il computer mi serve, devo lavorare, altrimenti non riesco a guadagnare abbastanza per far aggiustare l’ape ed io ci tengo alla mia ape; ma questo l’ho già detto, non sia mai che oltre a divagare divento anche ripetitivo, perché io divago spesso. Il computer mi serve per lavorare, sono un blogger, ho un blog che vanta 232 lettori fissi ed ho una media di 16 commenti al giorno. Il sabato e la domenica arrivo a 31 ma questo non basta, sono convinto che in futuro basterà ma con il futuro non si mangia, nemmeno i pagherò accettano più eppure sono futuro; quindi, per lavoro scrivo dialoghi per film porno, mi pagano a parole; lo so, non è molto conveniente ma per alcune parole ho dei bonus. Se uso più di due emme di seguito mi danno un “bonus mugolio”, mentre per ogni “pecora”, “stallone”, “prendi”, “pompa”, “girati” mi danno dei “bonus parola”. Il mio primo dialogo è stato:
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- Beh, ci sei tu e quello stallone lì che bruca, oltre alle pecore. Sono quasi rimasto a secco, mi sapresti indicare la più vicina pompa di benzina?
-Mmmmmmmm…fammi pensare, ce ne dovrebbe essere una a due chilometri più avanti, prosegui dritto e al primo incrocio prendi la strada a destra, dopo duecento metri c’è la pompa.
Il regista non è stato molto contento, mi ha detto che non era propriamente il dialogo che si aspettava però poi ha messo due benzinaie tettone alla pompa ed ha risolto. Meno male che mi ha pagato lo stesso, avevo appena comprato una marmitta nuova per l’ape, una che le fa fare il rombo della Maserati così da far girare le femmine ed ero a corto di soldi per la benzina, se c’hai l’ape che romba ma è senza benzina non puoi mica andare in giro a far girare le femmine. Ho divagato ancora; adesso che ho qui il computer posso lavorare, scriverò un dialogo con un’infermiera, un paziente e settantacinque euro. In realtà però il computer mi serviva perché non ce la facevo più, dovevo andare nella blogosfera a commentare i blog, ero in crisi di astinenza. Adesso sto sfruttando il wireless dell’ospedale, ogni tanto intercetto le cartelle di qualche degente, non so che farmene e le metto nel cestino; stamattina i decessi sono aumentati, dicono per errori sulle cartelle, poi non ditemi che non c’è malasanità.

58 commenti:

stellastale ha detto...

uffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... il prosciutto non ci va nella parmigiana!!! quante volte devo dirlo?!??!?!?!?!

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Io continuo ad appoggiare stella. Ma, parmigiana a parte, il più grande intenditore di pornetti al mondo fu colui che entrato al cinema si sedette in un angolo della sala ed aspettò l'inizio del film:
...ecco che arriva il protagonista (lei è stesa sul divano), lui le fà "ciao"....
Lo spettatore esperto grida in sala: "troppa trama!"
Quando la realtà supera ogni fantasia ;)
Bravo Mì :*

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Sono il 233esimo!

O quasi :)

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innanzitutto grazie a tutte e due per aver inserito l'opzione Nome/URL così ora posso commentarvi.

l'ape è fantastica e a mio avviso le femmine si girano comunque anche senza vetri oscurati, magari con due tendine risolvi comunque il problema della privacy e risparmi ^ __ ^
.. sei incredibile .. la tua fantasia supera l'immaginabile.. riesci sempre a tessere delle storie fantastiche, divertenti ed ironiche

ed ora vado a commentare l'altro geniaccio qui sotto
un abbraccio

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@ stellastale: Vabbè, dirimiamo la questione, nella parmigiana non ci va il prosciutto ma la zia Calandra ce lo mette (e pure mia zia che non si chiama Calandra) e la parmigiana viene buona uguale :D

@ Maraptica: Come sai che ho urlato quella cosa lì al cinema? C'eri anche tu?!

@ Absinto: 233esimo e mezzo? ;)

@ albafucens: Troppo buona...sì, le femmine si girano spesso al mio passaggio, dall'altro lato però :/

@ Chica: Grazie :*

Maraptica ha detto...

Semplicemente...ti conosco! ;)

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@ Maraptica: Abbastanza bene ma non del tutto... :P

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